Gate 54 - The Marrying Maiden - The Gate Of Drive - Human Design

Gate 54 - The Marrying Maiden - The gate of drive 

Interaction in its mundane social context, but also one's mystical and cosmic relationships

Tribal ego energy. Pointed towards the splenic center. Even if it is in the ego circuit, it is important to remember that this is not ego energy; it is pressure to rise. Pressure to achieve and transform. But this is pressure to transform for the benefit of the tribe. 

There is an ambition for oneself, but also a recognition of the ambition in the other. 

This gate is a great help to see who can contribute to the community and help them get to that point. So as much as you are looking for that one person who can lift YOU up, you are better off starting by lifting others up while honing your ambition. Your success comes from helping others succeed first. 

Ambition can easily be misunderstood in this day and age; 6-figure months and fast cars. At the heart of this gate, yes, there is an ambition to rise up and to notice who can help you realize this ambition to transform your life and, in the making, the lives of others. "If this person recognizes my ambition, they could help me rise up the [whatever imaginary ladder that comes with this ambition]. But there is mundane, down-to-earth energy in this gate. Its ambition to achieve what you want in day-to-day life, as much as ambition to rise in social status. 

When gate 32 is missing, there is a sense of not knowing where to direct and channel the ambition. And when unaware, this can lead to blind ambition. Not seeing what is happening around them, acting without clarity, direction, and preparation. A restlessness for wanting to be at the top NOW can make this pressure even more unbearable. 

My shadow story is embarrassing for this perfectionist to share. Still, I think this can help others understand what I mean. 

I have this gate in my unconscious Jupiter, law and protection, and potential blessings. I do not have the entire channel.

The last time I found myself blindly ambitious was after I had declared my coffee shop bankrupt after being open for one year. 

I have always had a burning urge for justice in the workplace. After experiencing the worst of the worst kinds of bosses, I always knew I wanted to be the change when I one day was a manager. 

And I do think that I was a good manager; I don't know if the first employees I ever led would agree. I needed time to learn how to deal with the different personality types that came with managing people. 

Still had my 19-49 channel - design of a sensitive being - that wanted to take care of the needs of "my people." I like to believe that might have helped my lack of leadership back then. 

After declaring bankruptcy, I knew I could never have a boss again. And I still wanted to change how leadership is viewed and executed;  I went full force out with a blind ambition to CHANGE THE WAY LEADERSHIP IS TODAY! Ambitious as fuck, yes. 

I want to state that my beginning intention was pure. I wanted to do this for what is known as the HORECA industry; Hotels, Restaurants, and Cafes. That is where I had 2 decades of experience from. 

And I got started. Full force, not waiting for emotional clarity, not gathering all the information, not looking into if this was actually what I wanted to do - and I met resistance. 

I met people who said, "the restaurant industry would never pay for what you are selling, whatever that is. They don't have the finances for it." 

Then I met a business coach who said, "Who isn't to say that you could do this for any company? Fuck having a degree in leadership, you have experience!!" 

My open g, open heart, and all my fucking not-self themes all went together and said, "YEAH!!!" 

I was all over the place, not clear, not actually slowing down to look at what reality was saying. I was driven by blind ambition and my not-self themes, and it was a complete disaster. 

Finally, I talked to a person I respect and trust. He asked - do you really want to stand in stuffy offices teaching managers of whatever company how to lead when they most likely do not want to be there? 

And I stopped. It all stopped. He was able to tune me into parts of reality; imagining that scenario was enough for me to say nope. Next thing... but I didn't look at the trail of disaster I had left behind me.

To be completely honest, I didn't look at this until a few months ago. Another person I trust and respect mentioned this as one of the many trails of "WTF" I (as a roaring manifestor) had left behind online. It was a painful experience to really look at this honestly. 

To see how YES, I am ambitious, and YES, I am coming to terms with that this is ok. But I need that other person to recognize it. So that I can foster it. I actually need the other to help me direct this, and while I am waiting, I need to look realistically at things.

I needed to STOP. Manage the mundane and honestly look at the greed shadow, the blindness of my ambition, and wake the fuck up. Perhaps find someone with gate 32, or at the least someone I trust to guide my ambition. 

This was painful. Of all the shadows I have had to face and embrace, this one is the hardest in my journey so far. 

But, what to do, as Ra would say. 

These days I find myself slowing down, leaving behind expectations, paying attention to my intention behind interactions, and honing my ambition while waiting for this to be recognized and guided. 

Yes. A manifestor also can need guidance. 

Remember that the shadow is just an expression of the gift. It's a sign that something else wants to come out. The gift of being aspirational. 

We cannot ignore the shadow. We can embrace it so that when we see it show up, we know there is something else that wants to come out. 

Let go of the need to go somewhere fast. 

Peace out for now.