A letter to my open head center

I think it's incredible how you can find inspiration in anything. Anyone. Anyplace. A word can become a dream. A vision becomes a movie. 

Last night I could hear you thinking about everything we had seen, heard, and done. The buzzing of what-ifs. 

It's interesting how you and the Anja, even if not connected, work together to create a structure of the sensible and senseless you bring to the table, dear head. It's funny how I will use my inner vision to literally "cut you off." So I can fall into my body. The funny part is how quickly that wishful thought of cutting you off was wasted. And how I can feel the switch flipping off (if there was one), and there you are, at it again. 

From how does sunshine work to are we alone. Maybe we could buy that, do that, did you see that? And always finding inspiration in the dark. 

I do love you. And some days, I find it challenging to maintain our relationship. 

Focusing is hard. I see you bouncing, and damn girl, I want to jump with you. And I get caught up in the bouncing. And then wonder what the hell I was doing before I bounced. I'm sure you are the reason I'm diagnosed with ADHD (you are always co-sleeping with anger, so that makes sense in this defined Ajna). 

You and the undefined ego are BFFs. That person on Facebook looking for help to find the answer is someone we can help to prove our worth. Let's make everyone love us by answering all their questions. We both know that deflects from all I have going on. 

Have you noticed me not playing into that lately? It's been rough. But I don't think you care. I think my need to make life challenging plays a role here. More on that another day. 

I'm not too fond of it when you and the undefined sacral get together, and I struggle to understand if enough is enough. As if it wasn't bad enough with my sacral screaming to be lit up by someone or something- but you, dearest head. You keep the inspiration coming like a freight train. 

And my god, how creative we get about our fear and survival when you start playing with Mr. undefined spleen. That huge chef's knife we bought for no particular reason, I'm confident that was you two. 

But dearest open head. I do love the inspiration you find. In anything! I love the curiosity and how you can have a conversation without finding the answers but just floating on clouds of "what ifs." I appreciate the openness. We have fun. Even if I have spent less time entertaining all the exciting things you see in the world, I appreciate them. Thank you.